Maddie had to be at her school by 0830 hrs. to depart at 0845 for swimming lessons. I had to get things going and the children moving, because I have been known to have issues with little girl's swimsuits in the past. (See "The Dora Swimsuit Miracle") I got the kids up and watered and fed. I made Jesse take a bath, because...well if you have any 11 year old boys lying around you probably already know why, but I digress. I attempted to get all of Maddie's things together ahead of my planned departure time of 0745. Swimsuit- check. Swimsuit, actually on child. Not yet, but I hoped it would go well. Books- check. Maddie loves books. Towel- check. Little Croc shoes- check. Frozen dolls- check. Actually, the Kristoff doll makes a good projectile. Just ask Jesse. I felt pretty good about where we were. It was about to go bad, however.
I was actually able to put the swimsuit on the child with no issues! It felt like I had just hit a walk off homerun in Game 7 of the World Series! Dang, that felt good. I do realize that my lovely wife Cheryl had fixed this series game before it started though, because she made sure to buy an idiot proof swimsuit this time. I brushed teeth and fixed hair, and it was only 0715 hrs. I had a bag full of Maddie stuff ready to walk out the door! We were handling our business this morning. Then the bottom fell out. Pedro went missing.
Who is Pedro? Well, Pedro is a pink monkey. Not just any pink monkey, but a pink monkey that I tend to make come alive at times. I have a distinctive Pedro voice for said monkey. Kind of a cross between Zorro and Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke. I use Pedro to wake Maddie from time to time, and even tell her stories at night. Pedro has even been a wrestling partner for Mad Dog Maddie Meanness in the Thunderdome arena of her room. He has a great bionic elbow, ala, the American Dream Dusty Rhodes. Maddie was not happy that Pedro had went missing, and she basically shut down any and all assistance she was giving me until he was found. I had my work cut out for me. I didn't even know where to start. Luckily, I had the keen eyes of Jesse Perry to help me find poor Pedro. Who am I kidding, if it's not a video game or a baseball Jesse doesn't see it. He doesn't even want to see it.
Pedro really went missing I'll tell you. He wasn't under any of the beds, the couch, the refrigerator, and he wasn't in the bath tub. Sometimes things find their way in there. I checked the upstairs, the downstairs, and both garages. Nothing. I began to think I would get a call from some monkeynapper demanding ransom. I needed to find this monkey. Pronto. We were creeping up on departure time, and if I didn't get her to her destination on time, all of HE double hockey sticks would break loose. Well, I'm probably being a little over-dramatic here, but it wouldn't be ideal by any means. Where in the world is Pedro the Pink Monkey? I was about to find out, and the answer was shocking. Sorry, again over-dramatic, but this is a mystery story.
Pedro the Pink Monkey was finally located. He was found laying safe and sound.......in my bed. What? I know I forget things from time to time, but when did I sleep with a Pink Monkey. It seems like I would have remembered that. Wouldn't you think? I just couldn't figure out how that monkey got there. When Maddie found out where Pedro was found she said, "I forgot. I put him in your bed Daddy. He was scared, and I knew you would protect him." That was one of those Awwwww moments. I love that girl. We loaded up and headed to Maddie's school. Me, my co-pilot Jesse, and the lovely Miss Madison. We even arrived early at 0815 hrs. We walked into the school, and I was all proud of my most recent accomplishment. Not only as a girls swimsuit putter onner, but a missing monkey Detective. We walked in her room, and one of the little girls in Maddie's class came up to me and said, "Maddie's Dad....you're supposed to put a shirt on over the swimsuit." Busted my bubble. It is Ok to go just swimsuit right? You don't have to have a cover or a shirt do you? There are just too many rules for all this stuff. That's all I got. Long live Pedro the Pink Monkey!