Tuesday, October 8, 2013

15 Reasons Why My Kingdom is Safe with Prince J-Jam

     As an aging head of state, and king of my known world, I have started to look toward the future.  The heir to my throne is a fine young man, and I have the utmost confidence in his ability to carry on the empire in which I have built.  Heavy is the head that wears the crown or as my Queen would say, "Your head is too big to wear the crown in the first place."  God save the Queen!  Here are the 15 reasons why my Kingdom will be in good hands with the boy King....J-Jam!!  I have no fears in the succession to the throne, and one day son, all of this will be yours! (I'm moving my hands around in a sweeping motion in the kitchen right now, to signify the vastness of my empire.)  On to the list:

#15-  Jesse is a very smart young man and extremely helpful.  In fact he just told me the other day, "Dad, don't worry about college!  I'll help you with your Science and Math."

#14-  He's one tough customer.  Tougher fellow you won't find.  He will need this toughness in dealing with the rival "Madino Clan."  That's a rough bunch, and Princess Maddie has some ambition about her.

#13-  He's got the look.  Just as Sheena Easton and Prince said so eloquently.  Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes.  Fine looking fella!  This will come in handy when negotiating with the ladies.  Don't tell him I said that-  He still gets upset when I mention...."Girls"  Shhh.

#12-  My DNA.  He's got the gift of Gab.  He can talk a tree into moving its roots.  My main dawg has advanced Rhetoric skills...Thanks, of course, to the DNA of the King!  All Hail, the King!

#11-  Cheryl's DNA.  Unbelievably kind soul and extremely generous.  He will keep the folks happy around here, although watch your back because, "Hell hath no fury, like Cheryl's DNA scorned!"

#10-  He's not power hungry.  Which is good for me.  I won't have to be run off like an old lion.  The old lion just wanders around alone, and then starves to death.  That's not appealing to me.  In Jesse's kingdom the old lion can still hang with the young lion.  At least for now.....

#9-  My people descend from Royalty.  Purple is our color.  My line began with Mark Antony and Cleopatra over 2,000 years ago.  Sounds good, huh?  How's that for a family tree?  What's really cool is you can't really prove me wrong even if you know I'm full of it.  Spaghetti Science...throw a bowl of spaghetti against a wall, and some of it is likely to stick!

#8-  The boy can dance!  You never know when you might have to cut a rug with a foreign dignitary.

#7-  He can, sort of, cut grass.  Which is good for the up keep around, "Ye Olde Castle."

#6-  He has a bright future.  Doctor, Lawyer, President of the United States, the sky is the limit.  This is important, because History tells us that Empires Fall, and fall hard.  Just in case we get conquered by a rival tribe, it's good to have a back up plan!

#5-  He's really good at "Call of Duty."  He can defend our walls.  At least in a make believe Video Game setting, which kind of fits with this whole line of thought.

#4-  He's got my kind of crazy!  Got it all natural like.  In my experience this quality has always come in handy.  Folks don't mess with the wild-eyed crazy guy!  That's a fact!

#3-  He descends from "Cristos the Spartan."  "Spartans, ready your breakfast and eat hearty, because tonight we dine in hell."  "No retreat, No surrender!  That is Spartan Law!"  Sorry, I just wanted to quote 300 to get myself fired up this morning.  As you were.

#2-  He's got an Angel's Heart and the Devil's Hand.  Those are song lyrics that really have no purpose other than I've always wanted to use those words. Now I have.  Check that one off the old Bucket List!

#1-  Two Words.  He's Awesome!

     Well there you go.  The qualities of the future King!  Sounds good to me!  Long live the King.....that being me, but if I was to perish in some way...We good around here!  The Prince will take us to unprecedented success.  All Hail!  Bow Down to the King!