Saturday, June 29, 2013

Happy Days in Milwaukee

     The last time I was able to report on the travels and travails of the Uber Dad (me) and family, we were preparing for our cross country trip to Wisconsin.  Since that time we have run into quite a few obstacles in our quest to arrive in Badger country.  We ran into quite the traffic congestion and issues at the Holiday Inn.  The final goal was to make it to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and upon arrival have much fun.  Since arriving the fun has definitely been a mile a minute, and it has absolutely been worth the issues during the journey.  I believe a recap is in order, and as it is in life...you have to understand and accept your past before you can truly move on with your future.  The last few days Uber Dad style.
     The first day of travel was a short day, because we had several things to take care of before departure time.  My lovely daughter Maddie began to take issue with this whole traveling across the country idea pretty much right away, and she caused quite a ruckus.  Maddie is a little girl that believes that this is her world, and we're all just occupying space in it.  I was not at all upset that the driving was cut short, and we pulled into a Holiday Inn Xpress for the night.  We were staying in Seymour, Indiana, and that is why the events that followed will forever be known as the, "Seymour Snorefest of 2013."  I am a bit of a light sleeper so noises bother me a lot to say the least.  This night I would be tortured by snores from every direction, and noises that seemed to originate from a very evil place.  This was a maddening event for me, and I began to feel like someone had locked me in a "Guillotine Choke", and I was not allowed to tap-out.  I tried meditation, deep breathing, and toilet paper in the ears...but nothing worked.  I began to tell myself that regardless of my current predicament that I was extremely lucky to be where I was at this very moment, and I took it a step further and said to myself, "I could be homeless or living on the street."  My mind was in a funny place due to lack of sleep, and I began to think to myself, "Well sleeping under an overpass and going through garbage cans don't sound all that bad right now."  I was able to shake my head, and arrive at the conclusion that this thought was complete nonsense, and it was only the evil snores that wanted me to lose my mind.  I must stay level headed and avoid blowing a gasket in Indiana.  I did.  I eventually did sleep some, but I did not sleep enough for what would come on day number two of driving.
     The second day began innocently enough with a nice Holiday Inn breakfast and a quick workout in the Holiday Inn gym.  We started out confident that we would arrive in Milwaukee by about 1 pm.  This was without calculating the horrendous traffic jams that we would experience in three states.  We were shut down for about an hour and a half just North of Indianapolis, Indiana by a phantom menace.  It was a phantom, because we were never able to figure out why we were stopped, and a menace for obvious reasons.  I have to say that people become very social when stopped in traffic for an hour, and get out and talk to people that they probably never would speak to normally.  Folks will walk their dogs, play with their kids, and urinate at will during a traffic jam.  But to continue, "Sweet Home Chicago" was next.  We ran into the Chicago Blackhawks Stanley Cup celebration right smack dab in the middle of it, and this caused much problems in attempt to make it through lovely downtown Chicago.  It took quite some time to weave through this traffic.  Now, it felt like we were about 37 hours behind schedule, but it was more like 2.  We kept on moving, and just when we thought we would make it through with no more issues another traffic jam right across the Illinois/Wisconsin border put us further behind.  We ended up making it to our destination around 5:30 or 6 pm., about five hours behind schedule.  Cheryl compared this day to Dante's "Inferno" and the seven circles of hell.  I told her that there were actually nine circles of hell in Dante's Inferno, and she said, "Well that makes sense, because it was just more Hell." There was a silver lining however, we were kept company by Justin Timberlake and his "Pocket Full of Soap," because the song was played 159 times during our trip.  Every time the song came on Jesse said, "OOOH, I Like that song!"  It was worse than the 147 times a day that MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" was played in Panama City, Florida in June of 1990.  Thanks to JT for keeping us company on our quest.
     Since we have arrived in Milwaukee we have been able to spend some quality time with the Fonz (The Bronze Fonz to be exact), eat possibly the best hamburger I have ever eaten in my entire life at Sobelman's, and have an absolute blast with family.  Like I have said in my previous blog posts, my wife's family are amazing people and I really enjoy spending time here in "Packer Country."  I grew up a Cowboy fan, but I have become a card carrying Green Bay Packers "Cheesehead" without a doubt.  I would like to add one other short story to wrap up this report.  We passed the "Milwaukee Power Tool Plant", and it brought back memories of an incident involving my father.  Once in my youth my father gave me a Milwaukee Electric Drill and a block of wood to keep me occupied.  My father was working on a lawn mower or something, and probably thought "He'll drill a few holes and quit."  Well it didn't quite work out that way, and the young me burnt that drill's motor up completely.  My father came back to where I was and found a burned out drill and a block of wood with a bunch of holes.  I wanted to go inside and tell the people at the tool company that I wanted a replacement, and tell them my story.  I didn't do that, but it was a very nice memory.
     We have a few more days here in Milwaukee and the fun will surely continue, and the hospitality shown to us has been second to none!  I look forward to our next adventure, but we will have to travel again.  We go further north to my wife's hometown of Wausau, Wisconsin after we leave Milwaukee and if the past is any measuring stick it could be an eventful journey.  Well, as long as I can get some deep fried cheese curds and frozen custard it can't be all that bad.