This week was supposed to be the last week of school, but Jesse was told by his teacher that he didn't really have to attend. We were going to make him go anyway, because that's what evil parents do, but the textbooks were collected the week before. It appeared that there was actually no reason to send him to school, which I have to say posed a philosophical problem for me. We live in Jefferson County, Alabama, and the school system here turned stupid this past year as it related to the school calendar. The idea of the "Snow Day" was ripped away from our children, because of a changed school calendar. Now, the overwhelming fear was that school would be held on Saturday if a "Snow Day" was given. This led to a near disaster when Snowpocalypse 2013 hit, and the schools waited till the last possible minute to let out schools to avoid the Saturday class session. Ditches were filled with cars and I saw at least three accidents that day that I went to pick up Jesse, because the school let out right in the middle of the snowstorm. Alabama is not a snow state, and no Alabamian should ever attempt to drive on snow or ice, it's just the way it is. Well, due to the unfortunate timing and calendar of the school everyone had to drive in snow, and it had horrible results. Well, the problem now is, "What's up with telling my kids that they don't have to come the last week?" Now, I guess its OK to miss school, but you better not have a "Snow Day." This whole idea made like zero sense to me, but none of it would have mattered anyway because of the arrival of "The Pink Eye Summer Fest 2013" at La Casa De Perry.
Maddie was infected with the pink eye, and had to stay home from her school. This conjuctivitis is an interesting malady. It doesn't seem to really do anything, besides gluing your child's eye shut. However, the idea of pink eye has brought fear in the hearts of children since I was a kid. It is highly contagious so everything has to be washed or cleaned, and my main man Jesse had the quote of the week when I told him to put lotion on after his bath, "I don't need any lotion, I'm already too smooth!" That's my boy. My two youths also pulled what will be known as the "Sans Culottes" incident (Thats without pants in French. I've studied the French Revolution...long story) to mess with dear old Dad. My children decided to take off their pants run around the living room hollering, "Woo, Woo!" like Ric Flair, and lie in wait for me to arrive. I did arrive to discover the children minus their pants, and the smiles and laughter let me know I had been victim to some type of nonsensical plan. I taught Jesse how to cut grass during the pink eye epidemic, and while he's not ready for prime time just yet, it is a milestone. I got a bit misty knowing my boy is growing up, but at least my yard will be cut by someone other than me. We also cleaned out all the gutters as therapy for the pink eye, but it didn't work. Jesse, as CEO for the "Pink eye support Network" vehemently opposed this action by the powers that be, but as I have said before, "This is not a Democracy."
Last night, the entire family went out for a shopping excursion and then dinner at an unnamed restaurant. Toys R Us was visited, and as always the people watching in there was priceless. You see parents at their wits end, and on the edge of losing their mind but trying very hard to keep it all together. You see folks from all walks of life, and they all have the same goal, "Get Out ALIVE!" After Toys R Us we went shoe shopping for my darling wife. Shopping for Women's apparel is like a sedative for me, and I don't think I'm alone, most of the men I see in these places all look as if under the influence of some type of sedative. There is just nothing to look at, and women's shoes are the worst. You can hold up a hundred shoes and say, "Do you like it?", and the answer would still be, "I don't know, and really I don't care?" Sorry, but the same thing goes for women's clothes, I don't care what you wear, as long as its not a garbage sack or something, although I bet some women could pull that one off too. After the shopping ended it was time to eat, and this is always an interesting adventure with the kids. You never really know what personality is going to show up with these kids, and if it is not a good one, the dinner is doomed. This culinary journey was actually successful, but the Mexican restaurant we went too seemed to be in awfully big hurry to get us out. I've never seen faster service, Literally, Chips and Salsa to check in less than 30 minutes. I had to make sure we didn't do something to offend. The guy was there to pick up stuff as soon as I took the last bite, and the check was there in about 15 minutes. I actually appreciated this, because I knew that at one cross word or action, Dr. Jeckyll the kid would show up and it would all be over. We will return to Pablo's in Hoover, Alabama mainly due to the extremely fast service. That is unless I find out that they really wanted us gone for some unknown reason. Didn't try the fried ice cream though, I always do that at every Mexican restaurant I go to. I'm on a quest to find the best fried ice cream in the world, but that is a story for another time.